There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you.'
We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say.
And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.
An impulsive hug says I love you even though the words might be saying a very different thing.
Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
A mother may scold her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the scolding, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath scolding. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her scolding. But it is love all the same.
A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. "Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me."
We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears.
Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using.
A girls may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her husband may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face.
Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry.
We have to listen for love in those around us.
If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.
LOVE is a happy thing.
It makes us laugh,
It makes us sing,
It makes us sad,
It makes us cry,
It makes us seek the reason why,
It makes us take,
It makes us give,
but above all else, it makes us live!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Strengthen your Relationship:Conversation
Having conversations with your loving partner is absolutely necessary to nurture your relationship. There are different levels of conversations from the day-to-day one up to a difficult one. In order to strengthen your relationship, the conversation has to be as much as possible objective. It is also important to acquire a high degree of communication between you. It is a daily effort to be well understood. Using meta-messages can create an intimate language. This new language will exclusively belong to your relationship.
loving partner, to nurture your relationship, to strengthen your relationship, objective, communication, meta-messages, intimate language, relationship.
loving partner, to nurture your relationship, to strengthen your relationship, objective, communication, meta-messages, intimate language, relationship.
Strengthen ur Relationship: Gender Differences
This isn't the first time that you heard about the gender difference.Men and women are different: that's the fact. In terms of linguistics,a couple also has its own rituals. It is true that women speak and heara language of interactions and harmony. On the other side, men speakand hear a language of self-confidence and status. Therefore,communication between a man and a woman can be difficult.Misunderstandings of this concept could be a cause of divorce.
Strengthen your Relationship: Happiness
As negative emotions come, you need to comfort your loving partner. Asanxiety leaves, it will create enough space that can be filled bytenderness and respect. One of the greatest gifts you can offer to yourspouse is to let him or her discover their choice to be happy.Understanding their own problems is their first step of gettingobjectivity. It is a difficult path, but they can the results. To behappy is an individual process. Many times, you don't actually knowwhat makes you happy. Ask your loving partner what things he or shesees that make you happy. Then, you only need a mirror to reflect yourhappiness.
Strengthen your relationship: Requests
Every loving couple has to face thin problems, such as: "Darling, Ilove you, but change your shirt". Blaming is easy, but be careful tomake the requests in a way that doesn't imply blame. It is a balance torun with objectivity. It needs efforts within your relationship. Theseefforts have to be mutual in order to strengthen your relationship. Acommunication process is also necessary. If you want that your spousechanges one behavior, only ask the request. It is simple, butefficient: "Honey, please change your shirt" Emotionally intelligentcouples can easily acquire these communication skills.
Strengthen your Relationship: Time
To be in love also means that you want to be with your loving partner as much as possible. However, you also need to have free time. Being alone is very important within a relationship, because you can refresh your emotional balance. Both partners must understand that time alone does not threaten their relationship. You don't avoid your loving partner, but you take time to get serenity in order to think about your life. If one partner feels insecure, it is important to comfort after the free time. Just explaining what the other partner did can avoid misunderstandings.
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